I want to tell you a few things first off. I was born in 1985 with that being said I also would like to tell you that I’m not really sure if I’m currently 35 or 36. Lol. Seems like I may be a slow learner. However slow, I’m raised by God taught by man. Here is my story… I do not claim to have answers, this is merely my story.
When I was little I found the faith of a mustard seed. I knew of God’s love. I was raised up in the church. I had felt him and that was something very real to me. I also became aware of many situations. Mental illness, bullying, material objects, and chaos. I had heavy issues of my own around nine.
By the age of 10, I suffered from trauma. I was left feeling alone. I suffered from not knowing where I belonged. Seeking an understanding of all the whys I set out into the world. By this point, I had a guilty conscience so to speak. I always did what I wanted but knew right from wrong. I was made aware of accountability. I blamed others and I blamed myself. I didn’t know who I was much less entertain my thoughts on God. I went further out into the world. The dark travels of the world are sometimes scary.
By the age of 13, I was lost. I was a cutter, defined by past mistakes, addict to chaos. I tried to cover up my self-harm. I put my cuts in places I didn’t think anyone would look. I lied to the best of my ability. I used my thoughts to open many doors. I also closed many. I started dating a girl. I kept feelings of low self-worth. Overthinking everything. The who’s and why’s of most…